time to clean the clutter

time to clean the clutter

Its spring in michigan. You couldnt tell by the weather  here lately, though. Apparently, Mother Nature  (to wit my kids both tell me that Mother Nature is God...) hasnt quite decided to let us have some warmer weather and sun that lasts more than one day.  I can see the beginnings of spring; the buds are on the trees, there are sprouts of last years plants reaching for the sky, and of course the grime and junk that is left over from the winter.
For some reason today, cleaning out the kitchen cupboards was the thing to do.  It was almost automatic.
Through the window I can hear my chickens clucking, while I have my ipod playing my favorite music in the background.
As I take out all of the small appliances, trays, kids paint, and other aquired items in my cabinets, I think of who gave it to me and when. For some there is a story behind it and for others it was a junking find that at the time, I Had To Have It. Because I Didnt Know When I Would Need It.  Thats how my world has functioned. I have done this kind of cleaning before and have looked at something that has traveled with me over a few states, and thought "I cant get rid of this, I might need it later" How much of ourselves do we keep for a later use? How difficult it is to get rid of issues and bad habits that we know we dont need, nor do we have any real reason to keep it, yet we hang onto it.  I supposed it is a comfort to have what we know, like a couch that has really bad cushions, but it is so comfortable, despite the fact we have pain when we get up from sitting.
I know for the longest time, I held onto behaviors that were not the even the closest to being healthy, but it was what I learned as a child. They got me through some really terrible times and awful moments. I have slowly learned that I dont have to keep what is painful and what no longer works.  I can let them go, to fly by themselves, to finally be free. And in return I can be free. Free to clear the clutter not only from my house, my heart, my soul and my life.
Long ago when I was fired from the hospital, I had awesome dreams, that I could fly; weightless, soaring above everything. I was no longer held down by stress, fear and pain.   I was finally free.
A year later, I am cleaning up the rest of my life.  I am flying free.