in loving memory......

many tears have been shed today. my feisty, naughty once bitchy cat, lizzy, died in my arms today after a very short illness. She wad been doing well up until about 2 weeks ago, when I noticed she was very thin. Things progressed very quickly, and today she went to kitty heaven.
jon and I got lizzy and boo almost 15yrs ago. I remember calling him and telling him the kittens were running around the house and I could not control them. I learned that sometimes you just have to enjoy what you cannot control. Lizzy was a beautiful multi breed cat, that we rescued along with her sister. I will miss her sassy meow, her multi toes and the way she looked at me with her "I dont give a shit look"
I held her as her spirit drifted heavenward on her way to play with all the other cats that gone before her. She will be terribly missed and always loved.

rain and tears today

welcome to michigan...the state where in the same week we can have 80 degree weather and snow a few days later. Gracie is back on the couch in her fave spot (looking outside waiting for something exciting to happen) and I am at the computer, checking out the world. the driveway is wet from the rain and today the windows are closed because of the drop in temp. Gracie would rather have the window open so she can sniff.
My feisty, once bitchy 14 yr old cat lays in a box on my computer desk. She is dying. Her once fat fluffy body has wasted away to skin, bones and fur. I know she is breathing because I can hear her and I can see her tummy rise(19 yrs of nursing taught me that) She has succumbed to an illness that I can only assume is diabetes. As Christian said to me the other day, today she will go to kitty heaven and be with Jesus.
If she is still alive this afternoon, I will take her to the vet, cradle her in my arms and hold her as she goes to kitty heaven. peace my little furry friend, you will be missed......

insight

The sun is out, but the breeze is kinda chilly. Gracie is laying on the couch next to my computer desk, sleeping. I like listening to the windchimes outside my window and the birds that are singing. the flag flys in the wind waving the red and white stripes. I have been out of the nursing world since the end of january. My life has been slower and much less stressed. I have enjoyed not being at the hospital and having to deal with all the people who dont need to be there and all of the politics of those who work there. I find it very uncomfy to go back there even if it is just to bring my hubby lunch. I dont belong there anymore. and I'm okay with that.
God has a plan for my life, a road that I never would have traveled had I stayed at the hospital. A lesson, sure, a new way of life, absolutely, calmer, oh my gosh yes. At peace, at ease, grounded, being still.