working working working

its been 2 weeks since I started working at the grocery store. I love it. I can still talk to people, harrass peeps occasionally, and I dont take anything home with me. nothing. nada. Being able to say that for the first time in 20 years is a freeing feeling.  the weights are lifted off of my shoulders. I no longer take bodies home with me, small children that are dirty with mothers who dont care, people who dont care about themselves. I can see that my customers are troubled, tired, worried, but I dont have that relationship with them to be able to ask what is wrong. the limited time I have with them only allows me to ask how they are. whether thay lie and say they are ok, I am not sure. I dont have to know. I dont have to fix anything while they are in my line. its not my job anymore. I have freed myself of the Caretaker role, the fixer of problems, the rescuer.
Dont get me wrong, I love having people contact. being able to say hello and maybe have some fun while they are in my line. I love that. and then they leave. they go back to their lives that they had before they came in and I dont have any role in that. and thats ok.
I am taking a much needed break from the medical world.  I release a sigh of relief.
I went to the hospital the other day. my focus was on my friend and not on my issues. I saw some coworkers and they were all glad to see me, asking me what I have been doing.  I also got some feedback on facebook of some peeps that missed seeing me! boy that felt good! anyway, as I was there, I noteiced that I was not anxious, freaked out or had the feeling that I needed to leave. The door that God closed remains closed, and the difference is that I am able to walk away. I no longer feel the need to stand at the door, screaming and crying and beating on the door wanting desparately to get back in. I have successfully turned my back on the door, have walked away and have not looked back. I am calm and comfortable, easy in my skin settling into my new endeavors. praise God for small favors.....