being still

I was awake last night at about 1 am. laying in bed thinking and praying. well mostly thinking. I start to pray and then my mind wanders and I jump back to praying and the cycle just repeats itself until I fall asleep. but back to being awake. before I went to bed I read something that my husband was given. The sole purpose of the "article" was why this person had gone into karate. He mentioned learning how to be still. I realized that I have forgotten how to be still. I am the small child that has a problem (well okay more than one), giving it to God and then taking it back again because He is not going fast enough. I have not been still. I have spent my summer with part of me worrying about what is going to happen in the fall when my children go back to school and the other part enjoying my kids.
I have not let God take care of this. I keep saying that this is not my plan, that it is Gods and He knows what He is doing. But then the human side of me gets scared and starts worrying again, thereby taking back my problem. I must have faith that God will take care of me and my family; that He knows what is best for me and will guide me in the direction that He wants me to go. I must have faith and relearn how to be still and listen to what He says.