I wave the white flag

you might have seen it but I started to wave the white flag. you know the one. when you have just had ENOUGH and you need the bricks to stop falling on your head, you need the quick sand to harden so you stop falling down, you need the world to just stop. Our problems are relative. what we find to be highly stressful someone else may not even balk at. my friend has cancer. to me that is big. bigger than what I am going through. and yet my stress still sucks and seems like there is a mountain looming over my head and I cant get a break. I realized that my stress comes from me not trusting in God like I should be. there is a poem that says that we has humans are supposed to give all of our crap to God, but when we feel like He is not doing enough, we dtry to take it back. and we try to fix it ourselves. I took it back. and I have been paying for it. hence the white flag. can you see it waving? can you feel the breeze? I can. I allowed myself to take my shit back and try to fix it myself. For that Lord I am sorry. I am truly sorry and I humbly repent. (from my episcopal days). it is easy to forget and just go on with our days, to think that we can just do it ourselves. but the fact of the matter is He is our life and He has the control and will take care of us. He makes the sun rise and fall. He is my comforter, my Father, my source of strength. with Him I can do anything.....